my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize