Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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