I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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