He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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