So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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