If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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