you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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