is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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