And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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