You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
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As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
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Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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