Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
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