is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize