Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize