He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
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