i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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