I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
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I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
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I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize