my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize