Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize