Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I could fuck to npr.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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