drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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