I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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