Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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