You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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