So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize