I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
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I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
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There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
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