I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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