Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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