he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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