I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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