How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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