yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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