So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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