And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize