come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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