dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
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They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
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I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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