She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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