I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize