JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
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still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
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I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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