so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
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gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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