I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize