We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
You did what with his pubic hair?
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