If you die in college, do you die in real life?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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