apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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