i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
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i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
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If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
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