dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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