I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never too late to be topless.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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