Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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