He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize