Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just pynch a tree in the face
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize