It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
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We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
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The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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